Discussion of my life expierences through my Memior The Little Engine That Did It
This interview is dedicated to all the people I know and love and you know who you arehttp://www.blogtalkradio.com<del/efactorbrendapearce/2014/04/03/dr-richard-tscherne-shares-the-power-of-the-breath-and
Last night while watching The Polar Express, it brought me back to the feelings of my childhood. At four years of age I was unable to walk but I was able to crawl. Crawling across the living room floor, I was drawn to the lights of the gigantic Christmas tree glowing in the corner of the dining room. I looked up and admired its majestic presence and was in complete and total awe. I knew Santa Claus was coming and could barely contain my excitement, could not eat, and would even get nauseous.
I loved Santa Claus. One year at Christmas, my mother, my sister, and I, went to take a picture with Santa. I sat on his lap and told him what I wanted for Christmas, knowing he would deliver exactly what I asked for because I knew I was such a good boy. My spirit was so high, knowing Santa would be coming to visit us that year and every year thereafter. Then one day in Kindergarten, one of my classmates slapped me during nap time, took my glasses off, and threw them across the room. He said I was being a baby because there was no such thing as Santa. I didn’t believe him.
When I got home from school that day, I asked my mother if he was telling me the truth. She reluctantly admitted to me that there was no such thing as Santa, and that the person who came to our house on Christmas Eve dressed as him, was actually my Uncle Jack.
When I watch movies like the Polar Express, it evokes a feeling in my heart, such as my childhood innocence. When I was a child I believed in everything because I wasn’t taught not to. During this time of year, I do feel tears coming down my face, because I know Santa is real and this reality does not reflect the perception that I have. Who is Santa? Is he a myth? Is he part of commercialism to sell Christmas? I don’t believe so.
Santa tells hero boy in the Polar Express, the bell represents the spirit of Christmas. Believing is seeing, and, all because one does not see, does not mean it doesn’t exist. Santa tells hero boy, “This bell is the symbol of Christmas, as am I.” The spirit of Christmas is within your heart.
Santa does exist and he is the personification of God that dwells within our hearts.
Hero boy will not hear the bell ring until his faith is strong enough to overcome his reasoning. It comes from what we are taught to believe. our ego. When we begin to pay attention to the voice that dwells in our heart, we can find peace and love.
Today I received the hard copy of my book, and it’s perfect, no changes. I showed the book to my mother, excited, anticipating her positive reaction. I figured she would be as excited as I am, after all this is
my biggest accomplishment aside from my Ph.D. I felt my mother’s anxiety, not really showing me any positive reaction. I feel her doubt, her fear, her heaviness. I was feeling optimistic, truly happy with my finished work, and yet I meet with resistance from the person who is closest to me. Trying not to be pulled into their negative space, it’s hard to resist the pull into the deep recesses of my mind. Feeling as I did when I was a child, wondering how I will ever change her perspective so that she may believe in me and accept my choices. I appreciate everything my mother, and father have done for me. But, having said that, my one wish would have been to simply have their acceptance, to accept me as I am. I need to find my own way even if it goes against the conventional. We all must follow our heart to achieve our bliss. It would be nice to have their approval of my choices, but I have to accept that fact that it may never happen. I love them, but I must live my own life. My struggles have been great, but I have been able to get up in the morning, exercise, try to do all I can do without any assistance. I know I am capable, I only need to prove to them I am. Perhaps then we will all be at peace.
Life’s most emotionally painful experiences open us to incredible opportunities clarity and self growth once our heart heals